The Story Behind CRD Home: Building a Home Within Myself
“Home isn’t just where you live—it’s how you live.”
For much of my life, the idea of home felt abstract and out of reach. This is how I understood that home is not something you find—it’s something you create, one room at a time.
Maybe it’s because I grew up between two countries, never fully belonging to one or the other. Or perhaps it’s because I spent my early years living in nearly six different homes, constantly adapting to new environments and shifting circumstances. Home wasn’t a place of permanence or ease for much of my life—it was something I couldn’t quite hold onto.
By definition, home is “the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.” But that definition never fit my experience. It didn’t account for the feeling of instability, the ways I learned to detach early on, or the emotional weight that quietly shaped my understanding of belonging.
At the same time, I want to acknowledge that I had a relatively privileged upbringing in many ways. I had access to education, opportunities, and security that many do not. My experience was not marked by material hardship—but by emotional complexity, family dynamics, and internal struggles that shaped how I understood myself and the idea of home.
A Fragmented Sense of Belonging
My early years were shaped by constant change—moving between countries, living in different homes, and adapting to shifting circumstances. Some periods were stable and full of care; others felt transient or uncertain. At times, we lived in temporary places—not because of material lack, but because of the transitions and complexities shaping our family life. I remember, for example, when my mother was managing a hotel, and we stayed there for a time—an unusual and formative experience.
Throughout it all, my parents’ relationship, though marked by love, was often shaped by tension and unpredictability. From a young age, I learned how to hold space for others, mediate, and keep the peace—even when I didn’t fully know how to tend to myself.
When I left for college, I thought I was stepping into a new chapter—a chance to build something for myself, away from the weight of family dynamics. But even then, home remained elusive.
While I was in college, my mother’s health declined rapidly. She was living in another country at the time, and I watched from afar as her mobility became limited and, for a time, she lost her vision. I felt helpless, trying to manage school while carrying the emotional weight of everything happening back home.
Eventually, the weight of it all became too much. I struggled deeply with my mental health and reached a point where I had to step away from school to care for myself. I returned home and became my mother’s full-time caretaker—a period of my life that was both incredibly difficult and profoundly meaningful.
My mother had a challenging upbringing. She, too, grew up without a stable sense of home. Yet, despite her circumstances, she did everything she could to create a home for me and my sister. My understanding of compassion, resilience, and well-being began with her.
The Realization
After my mother’s health stabilized, I returned to the U.S. to rebuild my life. I moved in with my extended family and began working, but I still carried the heaviness of everything I had lived through. I often felt misunderstood—criticized for being withdrawn or “gloomy,” as though the weight I carried was an inconvenience.
It was around this time that something began to shift in me. I realized that I had spent my entire life searching for a home in places, people, and circumstances—hoping someone or something could offer me the safety and belonging I craved.
But what I was searching for wasn’t external. It was something I needed to create within myself. Over the years, I’ve also come to understand that the appearance of a home rarely tells the whole story of what’s happening inside it. I’ve known people who lived in beautiful, well-appointed homes but whose family dynamics were marked by tension, conflict, or emotional distance. I’ve also known people who lived in modest or materially limited environments yet led joyful, connected, and fulfilling lives.
Those experiences taught me that appearances, privilege, or possessions don’t measure home. Home is shaped by how we relate to ourselves and each other—by the unseen emotional architecture that either nurtures or unsettles us. Every home, every family, and every life has its complexities. What works in one home may not work in another. And we would all do well to approach each other—and ourselves—with a little more grace, knowing that what we see on the surface is rarely the whole story.
The Birth of CRD Home
CRD Home was born from that realization—not as a business or brand but as a personal architecture project—a framework I designed to help myself build a home from the inside out.
I began to imagine well-being, creativity, and belonging as a house with four essential rooms:
The Bedroom — a space for rest and reflection
The Bathroom — a space for release and renewal
The Kitchen — a space for nourishment and creativity
The Living Room — a space for connection and expression
These rooms reflected things always present in my upbringing, thanks mainly to my mother’s effort and care. She made room for rest, nourishment, and creativity in our home, even in the face of instability. But with everything happening around us—the emotional weight, the unpredictability—it was easy for those things to get overshadowed or lost in the background.
CRD Home became a way for me to intentionally return to those foundations, reclaim and nurture them in my way, and invite others to do the same.
The Ongoing Process
Even now, I won’t pretend the story is tidy or complete. I still carry the weight of my experiences. I still feel, at times, stuck, numb, or distant from myself. Healing isn’t linear. But I remain committed to creating environments—mentally, emotionally, and physically—where I can fully articulate and embody my potential.
CRD Home is part of that process. It is as much a learning journey for me as it is an invitation for anyone here. Everything shared within this space comes from lived experience and ongoing reflection.
The Invitation
If you’ve ever felt unrooted, overwhelmed, or like you’ve never entirely belonged, I hope this space offers you something meaningful—not answers, but space—a place to pause, reflect, and begin coming home to yourself.
Because home isn’t just where you live; it’s how you live, and we can build it—patiently, intentionally, and with care. Welcome home.
If any part of this story resonates with you, I invite you to begin your process of coming home. Explore the CRD Home Framework.
